Losing someone you love…

Losing someone you love is never easy. It doesn’t matter in what capacity the loss occurs. Loss of love, is loss of love, and it hurts. The idealistic response is that you love yourself enough that you can accept the situation for what it is.  That you can set the person free.  That you have an open heart that gives and receives love graciously and allows great people to flow in and out of your life with ease. You know yourself well enough to know that you can live your life without that person and still be truly happy.

In most cases, people flow in and out of our lives in a smooth manner. Some are missed when they leave. Others not so much. Others you know you will see again and you can get on with your life with the comfort of just knowing that they are out there. You smile when you think about times you shared with them and you look forward to the possibility of meeting them again someday.

But sometimes you lose someone in your life and the loss feels so great that it seems to tear an enormous chunk out of your soul.  It leaves an emptiness in the pit of your gut. It leaves you with a sadness that you can’t understand. A sadness you can lose yourself in if you’re not careful.

Who was this person to you then?  An infatuation?  A soul mate?  An unhealthy attachment?  Did you love them too much?  Or did you just LOVE?  Were you looking to fill a hole in your life?  Was there even a hole until you lost them?

You could tear yourself apart trying to find the answers, trying to understand. You could blame yourself, blame them, hate yourself or hate them. All of which will destroy the good memories and the light that you saw in that person.   When you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who accepts you as you are, it feels good and you let them see who you are.  When we lose them, it’s a hard loss.

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It takes time but the only thing we can truly do to make ourselves feel better is accept it. Fighting to understand and questioning to define, seems to only cause more pain.  Accept that you loved that person and for whatever reason, that person is now gone from your life.  Have peace with the love the you have for them… love is a good thing… keep the love in your heart and let them go.  Don’t allow the beauty of the love you felt turn into a poison that destroys you. Be happy with your capacity to love someone deeply and continue to love that person deeply, wherever they may be.

Take the same amount of love and turn it back on yourself.  Find out what that feels like.  Love yourself as much as you love them.  Remember that ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. If you saw something beautiful in someone, it is the same beauty within you that blesses you with the capacity to see it in another.  Feel proud that you have the capacity to give so much love to others. Be happy that you allowed yourself to feel it and look forward to feeling it over and over again throughout your life.

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